Hidden Valley, meet the bedroom.
Some people like ranch on their pizza. Some like it on their wings. You? You like to keep things "creamy" in a way that would make a Midwest housewife faint. This shirt is for the absolute legends of degeneracy who live to make people do a double-take at the grocery store.
Wrapped in our signature trippy, liquid-gold typography, it’s the most "Indecent" way to celebrate America’s favorite dressing. 100% Gross. 100% Necessary.
Why you need this in your life:
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The Ultimate Shock Value: A cute, bubbly font delivering a message that should probably be a crime. It’s the perfect "contrast" comedy.
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The Vibe: High-contrast 70s psychedelic style that makes "disturbing behavior" look like a curated vintage find.
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The Comfort: Printed on the Gildan Softstyle 64000.[1][2][3][4] If you’re going to be this socially unacceptable, you should at least be wrapped in 100% ring-spun cotton softness.
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The Fit: Modern, semi-fitted unisex style.[3] It looks sharp while your reputation is being destroyed.
Tech Specs:
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Fabric: 4.5 oz/yd² 100% Ring Spun Cotton (soft enough to actually be lube, but please don't).
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Fit: Unisex Semi-Fitted (Order one size up for a relaxed, oversized "I don't care" look).
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Durability: Double-stitched seams and a high-stitch density for a smooth, high-quality print.
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Tag: Tear-away label for maximum comfort.
Perfect for: Buffalo Wild Wings, awkward first dates, family reunions, and making the waiter at the salad bar deeply uncomfortable.
EU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY
Product information: Gildan 64000, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999/44/EC
Warnings, Hazard: For adults, Made in Bangladesh
Care instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors , Do not bleach, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: low heat, Do not dryclean
